At least I made it to college.

I was one of those students that threw up at the thought of having to go to school on a test day. I was one of those students that would spend around 4 hours on her nightly homework because she wanted her handwriting to look nice. I worked my ass off to get to my dream school and to receive a well-paying scholarship.

I’m in college now. I’m at a great school. Its nursing program is one of the top ranked programs in the nation, so I’m not paying $53,000 each year for nothing. But being in college doesn’t mean that one immediately understands where their life is headed. Don’t get me wrong – I love being in Portland and getting the opportunity to really be the independent person that I am. I was just hoping for a little more when I left for college.

The thing is you still think about the things that kept you awake at night in your high school days. My high school boyfriend is no longer mine. I still love him as a dear friend but why the hell do I think about him so much. Why do I still hate those girls and why do my friends and I still reminisce about them. I’m supposed to better than this. I want to be better than this. It all seemed so important then but now I realize how stupid it all is…and for some reason I still fucking care.

It’s what teenagers do.

I can’t wait to be twenty because then it will all go away, won’t it…(wish I wasn’t joking).

At least I made it to college.

 

 

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